Sunday, May 29, 2005

Nostalgia: 101 Things...

I found this list recently. Some friends and I created it whilst students at WPI, sitting in the "Wedge". Some of the references are dated. And of course, you could really put just about anything on the list. I think some of the humor comes from the sequencing and some from the items themselves. I disctinctly remember H. and Bull and I think Glenn MgGuire, but I don't remember who else was there doing this with us. In my less enlightened days, I read the list aloud to my fiancee while she had a UTI...
101 THINGS YOU DO NOT WANT TO PASS THROUGH YOUR URETHRA

1. the Eiffel Tower
2. a porcupine
3. 700 gallons of Old Spice
4. 200 pounds of rigatoni (uncooked)
5. a calculus book
6. a curling iron
7. rock salt
8. a swarm of hornets
9. an IBM PC
10. a Yugo
11. the USS Wisconsin
12. a row of staples
13. a 2 liter bottle
14. a baby's toy block
15. a cinder block
16. toy jacks
17. China
18. a WWI German helmet (you know, the ones with the spike...)
19. a reactor fuel rod
20. New Order (the band)
21. a CD
22. Napalm
23. a gasoline pump
24. a heavy breasted cow
25. an armidillo
26. Mothra
27. a 15 foot by 8 inch Boa Constrictor
28. Cthulhu
29. Hastur
30. the Quad
31. President Bush
32. a pit bull
33. a Jehovah's Witness
34. 50' Constantina wire
35. The New York subway system
36. Chainmail
37. a bastard sword
38. a yard-shaft
39. an electric cattle prod and the Honda generator it's connected to
40. a brontasaurus
41. a Saturn V rocket
42. Saturn
43. a rhinoceros beetle
44. the national deficit
45. Jesse Helms
46. Ed Meese
47. Tammy Faye Bakker
48. A PC motherboard
49. a running weedwhacker
50. Wyoming
51. Martha Ray's dentures
52. a tasmanian devil
53. the entire Rolling Stones collection on 8-track
54. a little cupcake baked by the devil
55. a 17 piece Zildjian (tm) cymbal set
56. Niel Peart
57. a Massingale douche
58. a class ring
59. a rectal thermometer
60. AT&T
61. The Roman-Catholic Church
62. A Kimodo dragon
63. The Boston Symphony Orchestra
64. Rosanne Barr
65. a Zambonie
66. a Pan flute
67. Zamfir
68. a polar ice cap (either one)
69. Gary Coleman
70. the Voyager II
71. a wire brush
72. super-critical weapons-grade uranium (any amount)
73. a hot branding iron
74. the Persian Gulf (with mines)
75. the Winged Victory of Samonthrace
76. a WWII sea-mine
77. a mountain gorilla
78. Mt. Everest
79. a Lamborghini Countach
80. a Broken Flourescent Bulb
81. a life raft in the process of inflating
82. DAKA
83. a bamboo thicket
84. a giant sequoia
85. a humpback whale
86. a fishhook
87. a meathook
88. an icepick
89. a grappling hook
90. a hydro-electric turbine (not turbin)
91. a wheat combine harvester
92. a drill press
93. the complete works of Nathaniel Hawthorne
94. 700 pounds of fiberglass insulation
95. a discus
96. 12M hydrochloric acid
97. a skinhead
98. a chainsaw
99. Zsa Zsa Gabor
100. the Boston turnpike
101. this list.