Monday, September 12, 2005

There's a Perfecly Good Explanation, Officer...

The show is going quite well. I have not yet posted about it, but we are doing well, getting good reviews, and having a good time. This is a first for my wife. She's never been in a show before. It's been good for her self-confidence. And I don't think she has regretted any part of the process. Well, any part except for last Friday...

The problem wasn't really during the show, so much as after. Through a series of events, we were all a little tense and on edge. These inlcuded rehearsal for a small park performance that we were doing for the theater, me being in a bad mood because I had to eat my dinner cold, and Josh having accidents in both sets of clean clothes we had for him.

So, the show went well and we were hanging out chatting until Josh had his second accident. This was the kind that required wipes to resolve. I got him cleaned up and deposited him in my wife's car. Meanwhile, she was having a discussion with my daughter about the Saturday park performance revolving around Maya's sudden crisis of confidence. End result, Maya stormed out of the car, Josh was buckled into the car and covered with a blanket, and my wife drove off in a huff without so much as a "see you at home".

I got Maya into my car and we drove off. As we drove, we noticed a police car over holding some Fiday night delinquent over at the side of the road. We passed it by, me giving Maya a talk on safe driving all the while. Then we saw the 'delinquent'. It was my wife! We kept driving as there was nothing we could really do there and I didn't want to startle to officer or put him on edge. I thought that might somehow make the situation worse.

Just as I was turning onto our street, my cell phone rang. It was my wife. She wanted to know where I was. Apparently, she had expected me to stop and was upset that I had driven past. I told her I didn't expect her to be there long. She'd either get a ticket or a warning for whatever it was she did and be on her way. I didn't want to set the officer on edge. She couldn't see where I was coming from and told me to double back. She had warned the officer that I might stop.

"So, what did he bag you for?" I asked as I pulled into a parking lot and began my U-turn. She replied somewhat matter-of-factly, "Suspicion of drunk driving." That caught me off guard. "What?!?" I blurted out. She said, "I guess I changed lanes back before the light without signaling and he felt it was more of an erratic swerve." Lovely. "So, after talking to you, he still thought you might be drunk? I mean he's had you there long enough to make up his mind, hasn't he?" She agree that under normal circumstances, I'd have a valid point, but "there's also the issue of my makeup," she pointed out. I had forgotten that. In the show, she plays a courtesan, a woman for permanent sale. Because of this, she had to go heavy on the makeup. So, we have a swerving, heavily made up woman out late on a Friday night. "Well, there's no law against wearing makeup", I countered, even though I really didn't need to convince her. She told me she had been explaining the show and her role to him and aws probably on the verge of getting a warning when the officer glanced in the back seat. Joshua had fallen asleep and shifted, kicking off the blanket. The officer shined his flashlight in the back. "Why is the boy naked?" Oh, boy. Swerving, made up, and transporting a naked child. He had retreated to his squad car to think it over giving her time to call and summon me back to the scene.

Maya, in the meantime, had gotten upset. "What if they take Mommy to jail? What if they take our car away?!?" I reassured he that everything would be fine. "You don't know that! It's al my fault. I should never have been so difficult. She was probably thinking too much when she drove!" "It's not your fault, and she is not getting arrested," I reiterated. "Mommy is a big girl. If she was too angry to drive effectively, she would have told me and we would have dealt with it."

We were almost back to the 'scene of the crime' when she called me back. "He's letting me go." I was curious. "Warning or ticket", I asked. "Warning," she sighed, "turn around again and head home. See you there."

We all made it home without incident and Maya calmed down a bit. It's still on her mind, though. Since the event, we have had to endure such questions as: "What will happen to Josh and me if you both go to jail."