Happy Day-Which-Shall-Not-Be-Named

That’s right, today is the birthday of She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. And if you think I can’t name her, then I’m sure you can guess that I can’t tell you how old she is. Actually, I doubt she’d care, but this is more fun. I also decided on a new nickname for her. This is not due to any actions on her so much as her current nickname. How about Voldemom? So, Happy Birthday Voldemom! We love you! Enjoy your new hammock!

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Admira-Bull

I’ve been waiting to do this until the pictures were up, but I need to give a shout out to one of my oldest and dearest friends. He is also the current title holder of “Coolest Person I Know”. Don’t be jealous. He’s just that good. He is my second oldest friend. We’ve been through high school and college together. He opted for the ROTC route and has done quite well. As a matter of fact, he is now the Commanding Officer for the USS Constitution.  Check him out with his crew in all their old-timey glory. And here is his personal photo. Congrats, Bull. I’m mighty proud of you, bro.

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Bit the bullet

I bit the bullet and upgraded my Blogger template. As such, many enhancements have disappeared. I’ll try to add them back. My main goal was to get the comments back to being reliable again. It looks like I have done that. So, I should be able to respond to some of the recent comments now. I was having trouble doing so recently. I’ll add the blogroll back next. Then the recent comments. Then any other widget that tickles my fancy.

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Would you rather?

I’m stealing a concept from my friend James over at Aces Full. Every week he poses a conundrum of the sort “Would you rather: X or Y”. Sometimes it is a question of having something. Sometimes it is a question of doing something. I thought of one recently based on a personal situation and decided to throw it out to my viewers. I’ve modified it slightly from what actually happened to try to reflect a more objective mind set as opposed to my interpretation of events. Here goes.

Would you rather:

· Stand up for what you believe is right if doing so has even a small possibility of posing a major risk (financial, emotional, social) to you and your family.

· Allow a grave injustice to pass at a smaller personal cost, but a potentially larger cost to society

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she-who-must-not-be-named.com

Ok, a bit of a contradiction here. Or perhaps this is a concession that you can’t always avoid having your name on the internet. She-who-is-looking-to-reenter-the-workforce has created a website for her teaching portfolio. Ok. I created a website for her portfolio, but she created the portfolio. I just converted it from the school’s content management system (which is lousy) to Microsoft’s free Office Live (which is less lousy, but still pretty lousy). I was looking for free and easy and got that more or less. It came at the cost of flexibility and functionality.

 

The purpose of this site is to allow principals who are given her application and the URL to see what she has done and is capable of. Apparently, none of them look at it, but you have to either have a print version or a CD version. I was unsuccessful at a multi-format auto launch CD (since people can turn that feature off), so I came up with the idea of a website.

 

I wouldn’t mind a little review from my friends. I can only find so many bugs before I start to interpret what I see. If you want to look, go to she-who-must-not-be-named.com. I tinyurl’d it for obfuscation, so you’ll have to trust me that I am not trying to mess with you.

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The Papaya Decade

Today marks a full decade of Maya! Happy Birthday, kiddo. About this time 10 years ago, She-who-was-well-into-labor was recounting her conversation with dead relatives to all of us in the delivery room. Although, that was east coast time. So, if we are dealing with GMT, contractions were in full swing and the medical staff were ignoring her requests for an epidural as it was far too late for that. Tonight, we celebrate with Red Brick pizza, Cold Stone ice cream cake, and Harry Potter. And about 22 friends and their families. Expecto Pandamonium!

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I Has a Post

Ok. I haven't posted in a while again. Not as long as my last while, but still. Stuff going on. I know. There's always stuff going on. I'm a magnet. Or a catalyst. Or a well dressed digestive enzyme. Anyway, here's some LOLcat fun I found to distract you in the meantime?

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The Aforementioned Improv

There’s a really good article in Today’s Local News about what I’m up to.  I was impressed with the flow of the story and how well he captured what Improv is about. Even better, he edited out all my verbal fumbling and made me look like I really know something about this Improv stuff.

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You Read My Mind

As some of you know, I am occasionally a little sarcastic. Okay. Revise that to be often and quite. I know when I’m pegged. But don’t throw too many stones. I know many of my readers also possess the snarky gene. I’m most often snarky in the face of stupidity. Yesterday, I had a snarky thought. Stop the presses! What was newsworthy was the fact that someone near me vocalized it. I was in the grocery store that is part of my office’s plaza and was in the checkout line. A young woman walked up to the checkout clerk and asked “Where is your refrigerated water.” The clerk looked at her as though she was crazy and replied “In the refrigerator.”

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Father's Day Fun

Well, another Father’s Day in the books and I rather enjoyed myself. We made it a Father’s Weekend instead of just a day. We opted for simple burgers and dogs on the grill Friday night after which I got my presents. Most were very cool handmade items. The kids made popsicle stick frames with pictures of us that they drew. Josh also made a footprint painting with a poem in it. His Kindergarten teacher laminated the whole thing and helped him wrap it. I also got a couple of Superhero T-Shirts so Josh and I can match, as he is always wearing Marvel apparel of some sort or other. I am now the proud owner of a green T with the heads of Wolverine,  Captain America, Spidey, and The Hulk and a red T with an action shot of Spidey. Woot!

 

Saturday we went to Olive Garden with some friends for a nice dinner. A good time was had by all even though they were out of the Torta di Chocolate and forgot to bring us our Black Tie Mousse Cake which we chose as an alternative. We forgave them. We’re magnanimous like that.

 

Sunday was the big adventure. We got up early and drove downtown to catch the ferry to Coronado. You can drive to Coronado, but we wanted to try out the boat. It was an easy 15-minute ride and though I am exceptionally prone to seasickness, I didn’t even entertain a notion of nausea.  Upon landing, we made a short walk across a long pier and over to Bikes & Beyond. We rented a 2-pedal single bench surrey and set off to explore the island. We wanted the 4-pedal dual bench, but Josh couldn’t reach the pedals and Maya only barely could.  Plus, it was a lot heavier and with the two of them and she-who-still-has-a-ways-to-go-in-recovering-her-leg-strength with me, who do you think would be supplying most of the pedal power? Opting for the lighter model was a good choice. Josh sat in the basket up front. Maya and she-who-etc-etc took turns pedaling and sitting in the middle, and  I got a great leg workout. To mix it up a little, I occasionally got out and pushed while they both pedaled. That was an even better workout as I jogged along behind. With my assistance in the back and my weight not in the seat, we were able to reach tremendous speeds of six or seven miles per hour! When all of us were riding, and I was pedaling, we were passed by kids on scooters.

 

We pedaled all the way to the Hotel del Coronado and took a rest break so we could see the interior of the famed structure. It was designed by wizard of Oz author Frank Baum and was used in the film Some Like it Hot.  It was quite fancy inside. Josh and I took a ride in the old cage style elevator just because we could. Rest break was over and we had to try to get out of the hotel grounds. That’s when we noticed the street sign. Orange. Doh! There were only a few rules with renting the pedal car. Pedestrians have the right of way. Don’t pedal it through the market area. And stay off D, E, and Orange. That explains why it was so hard to get the car up the street. Luckily, we avoided the island police as we made our way back to the bike paths and eventually the shop.

 

From there, it was lunch at the Bayside Café, a little playtime on the beach, and a ferry ride home.  We made it back with enough time for showers, a change of clothes, and a quick stop to pick up sandwiches before the evening revels. We topped off the evening with a 3 hour Improv rehearsal.  But that will have to wait until next post…

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Post something You Idiot

Ok. Ok. So this blog has been pretty neglected in 2007. I am sorry. For those of you who are still checking in on me, thank you. For those who aren’t, will those of you who are let them know that there is something new? The rest of this post was deleted. Private mail me if you don't know why.

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Meme Time!

I was tagged (at my own request) with a meme by net friend barbie2be. I'm trying to jump start things here. She sent me 5 random questions. Here they are, with my answers:

1. Have you ever ignored the advice of your spellchecker?

Constantly. Spell checkers are weak on technical terminology. I also like to make up my own words. There are occasions when there is no right word for a situation and I need to adjectivize a noun. (I'm ignoring sc's red flagging of 'adjectivize' right now.)

Of course, sometimes I listen even when I know the spell checker is wrong. You can get some creative names that way. My friend Patti's email alias is now indelibly in my memory as "Puffy Merger" because of a spell check.

2. If you could only listen to one CD on a cross-country drive, what would it be?

I'm guessing that an MP3 mix tape CD would be cheating. I think I'd pick something I only marginally like as listening to it for an entire cross country trip would probably kill it for me. I'm going to go with Pure 80s as I can see myself belting out these greats hour after hour.

3. When life throws you a curve ball, do you swing hard and hope you connect, or do you just duck out of the way?

I lean in and get hit by the pitch.

4. Have you ever sent food back in a restaurant, and of so, why?

Yes. It was chicken and it was not cooked all the way through. And it was pretty clearly not cooked all they way through. I also send back food when I ask for something specifically, like 'no bacon', 'no cheese', or 'no mushrooms' and they didn't listen.

5. How long does it have to be since you last saw a friend or acquaintance for you to greet them with a hug?

Not long at all. I'm a hugger. It has to be the right person though. There are people I have known for years who aren't huggable and there are people I've know for only a month or so who are.

Now you know some more random stuff about me. Doesn't that just make you want to comment?

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Your Vote Doesn't Count

Ok. This is a little out of date, but I still wanted to comment on it. Last summer there was a lawsuit here in North County San Diego regarding the special runoff election for Duke Cunningham's disgraced seat. The contest was between Democrat Francine Busby, a member of the Cardiff School Board, and Brian Bilbray, an immigration and gambling lobbyist with ties to Jack Abramoff. Polls leading up to the election showed Busby with a small lead, but one that was within the margin of error...
Bilbray ended being declared the winner by the various organizations that call these things. On the say so of the Republican Secretary of State, Bilbray was whisked away to DC and sworn in before the election was certified. Some constituents of the 50th district wanted a hand recount and were given an unreasonable price tag ($150,000) by the Republican election commissioner. You see where this is going?

Lacking other alternatives, the constituents sued the San Diego commissioner and Bilbray in an attempt to get a hand recount. Their basis for the suit included the following points:

• Some polls showed Busby up 7% just before the election
• The outcome was close (Bilbray 49.57% , Busby 45.02% according to the Registrar’s certified result)
• Some absentee ballots were lumped into mega-precincts that listed total ballot numbers that were “thousands of percentages” above the total number of voters
• Diebold voting machines (the easily hackable ones) were sent home with precinct workers up to 2 WEEKS before the election

As you can guess from the title of this article, they lost. That isn't the troubling part. The troubling part is the precedent set by the text of the ruling. You can read the summary in the North County Times or Sign On San Diego, but I'll give you the high points.

Once Bilbray was sworn in, the state no longer had jurisdiction. This conclusion arose from Article 1, section 5 of the U.S. Constitution, which states that each House is responsible for the elections of its own members. Bilbray asserted, throguh his attorney, that only the House can now challenge the election. Of course, if you accept the assertion that once he was sworn in, the state had no jurisdiction to challenge, then you also have to logically conclude that the state had no jurisdiction to certify the election. So, it never actually happened. Ergo, your vote does not count. Welcom to George Bush's Amerika. Enjoy your stay.

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You Got Hockey In My Baseball

Busy day, but wanted to send along this funny courtesy of net friend barbie2be.

Now, thaht's what ahm tahkin aboot!

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One Movie to Watch and Another to Miss

I actually watched some semi-recent movies. I didn't catch them in the theater. That's why they are only semi-recent. I'm giving a thumbs up to The Good Shepherd and a thumbs down to The Pursuit of Happyness. Go below the fold if you want to know why.
The Good Shepherd stars Matt Damon as Edward Wilson. The movies uses flashbacks Wilson's life to chronicle in a fictionalized retelling of the early days of the CIA. Some of the jumps are a little confusing, but overall, the movie flows well. There are more than enough plot twists to keep you guessing. I may see it again just to fill in some of the blanks I missed. That said, the feel of the movie is very good as is the supporting cast. William Hurt, Alec Baldwin, Robert DeNiro and more all play supporting roles. The supporting standout, though, is Angelina Jolie as Wilson's long suffering wife. She gives a strong performance that is aided by the makeup people who did a nice job of aging her through the movie.

By contrast, The Pursuit of Happyness stars Wil Smith as Chris Gardner. It also features his real life son Jaden as Gardner's son Christopher. This one is also based on a true story. Unlike Good Shepherd, though, this one is entirely predictable. Smith turns in a very good performance, but the movie is too angsty throughout. They really drive home all the obstacles he needs to overcome as they railroad the story from misery to misery and try to create suspense. "What is going to happen to Gardner and his son?" But the ending is never really in doubt and the emotional uplift is too little, too late to make this worth watching.

We also did a nostalgia turn and watched The Court Jester, starring Danny Kaye, a young (and surprisingly attractive) Angela Lansbury, and Basil Rathbone. I've been on a Danny Kaye kick lately as I prep to portray him in an Andrew's sisters tribute show. So, I've been working on his mannerisms and voice. The kids have been enjoying him greatly. His movies aren't great cinema compared to the movies of today, but his comedy is wonderful. Josh watched this and he watched the recent Dreamworks flick Flushed Away. Afterwards, he told me, "Danny Kaye is better than Flushed Away. Kids today just don't know it." That's my boy.

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Why Is It Called...?

We were on vacation a couple weeks ago and decided to try to do a couple of days at Disney before our passes expired. We were forced to change this to one day as our passes were blacked out for Good Friday. It's just as well as the place was obscenely crowded. As I was explaining all this to the kids, Maya asked what Good Friday was. So, I decided to explain it the best my Jewish upbringing would allow. "Christians believe that Good Friday represents the day that Jesus was crucified. Easter Sunday is the day he rose from the dead." She thought about that for a moment. "That's the day he was crucified?", she asked. "That's what the believe," I answered. "Then why do they call it GOOD Friday?" "That's a very good question," was all I could come back with. Anyone?

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More Car Nonsense

Ok. Perhaps I shouldn't have jinxed myself. We all know how fickle the fates are. Granted, all I said was I wanted to wrap it up. I wasn't asking for St. Christopher to come down and lay hands on my car, making it new. I was just looking for closure. Which is why I shouldn't be surprised that I was rear-ended on my way to the dentist...
I was about fifth or sixth back in a column of cars. As each car in front of me stopped for the red light ahead of us, the gap between cars for stopping naturally shrank. I had just enough space to stop. The woman behind me, less so. WHAM! I bounced forward and then back. No airbag deployment. No shattered glass flying. Just your basic impact, lurch forward, and lurch back. However, the sudden throw did cause me some pain in my shoulders, neck, and lower back. And what are you not supposed to do if you think you have a back or neck injury? That's right. No moving allowed. So, I used my cell phone to dial 911. I didn't even get out to look at the damamge. The other motorist did not get out either. From what I could see in my rear view, she looked like a young woman in her twenties. She seemed unhurt, but upset.

I got through to 911 and was placed on hold. No operators available. I'm not kidding. All I could think was, good thing nobody is bleeding. I hung up and tried the local police department, since that was who I needed anyway. While I was in their menu system, a police car drove by. It didn't stop. It just drove by. I was unsuccessful in signalling them, so I went back to the phone tree. I couldn't get through the menu to a person. The automated message said to call 911. I called them back and this time got a person. He took all my info and said the fire department was on the way.

Huh? Not the police? Well, I was in no position to argue. Apparently the EMTs ride with the fire engines. So, the EMTs arrived in short order and did their assessment. The other woman was unhurt, but since I was complaining of back and neck pain, they decided to put a collar on me and strap me to a back board. Even though I wzas fairly certain I had no spinal damage, that is not something you want to take risks with. So, I was strapped down nice and tight and whisked away in an ambulance. (Special kudos to the fire fighters at Escondido Station No. 4 - They drove my car to the station so I didn't have to worry anbout towing or security or anything like that.)

The ride to the ER was nice and bumpy and made me more than a little motion sick. This is actually a more significant concern when you are strapped on your back and immobile. I told the EMT I'd try to hold it in so she didn't have to spray down the rig and she told me not to worry. She'd just roll the board on its side. Several bumps and a fortunate lack of vomit later, I was rolled into the ER and swapped to an ER bed. The nurse informed me that I couldn't come off the board until the doctor checked me and left.

Fortunately, there was a TV. Unfortunately, it was on Dr. Phil. And I was strapped to a board. Add some toothpicks to my eyes and we'd have Clockwork Orange. Dr. Phil was very sensitively ripping apart Anna Nicole's half-sister for trying to cash in on her sister's death. I was trying to gnaw through the back board restraints. The doctor came in and undid the collar for my first test. He poked at various spots along my upper spine and said "does this hurt?" It didn't, so he told me he'd check back again in 10 minutes and put the collar back on. As I lay there, Phil dissolved into Oprah, who wanted us all to take a test to determine how happy we were. I was pretty sure I was not happy to be in the ER and strapped to a board. No quiz needed.

The doctor came back and we repeated the test. Still no pain. So, he released me from the board and the collar. No X-Rays needed. Ahhhhhhh. Relief. Then he made sure I could move my extremities and had me lay still for a while again. He said that if I was still doing all right in a while, he'd let me go. It was at this time that She-Who-Occasionally-Shows-Sympathy arrived to take care of me. She fed me nacho chips and lemonade while we waited for me to be discharged. They told me that if I thought I felt bad now, I'd be worse tomorrow. Lovely. They offered me painkillers, but I'm not a fan of how that stuff makes me feel and I wasn't in THAT much pain. So, I passed. I was sore and miserable, but I could live with it. That plus the fact that SWOSS has a mini pharmacy of her own for joint and muscle pain.

The next morning, we went to get the car. At least, I thought, I would be able to get the damage fixed on someone else's nickel. When we got to the fire station, we saw the extent of the damage. I'd post the picture, but the zoom level I'd need to be at for you to see the scratch she left would be hard to achieve. That's right. My car can't handle rolling into a fire hydrant at 2 mph, but a read ending from another car? No sweat.

End result? Stupid car is still broken and not likely to get fixed, I missed a couple days work, and I have a stiff and sore back for a couple weeks. My weight loss was going pretty well, too. But now I have to take a break from basketball. Crap.

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Car Saga Update

Well, I am back from vacation and mostly caught up at work and at home. I'll post about the vacation and other assorted happenings later. First, I'd like to wrap up the car saga insofar as it can be wrapped up for now...
As you may recall, the first estimate I got for the repair work was $2800. That was not a promising start at all. So, I shared the saga with Jeff, a car savvy buddy at work. He felt the total was a little high so he suggested a couple other body shops in the area. I offered to treat him to lunch if he'd come along. Free lunch to go to a car place? I didn't have to ask him twice. We grabbed Sal because mischief is more fun with three and off we went.

We headed south of the office and took our business to El Dorado Collision Center in Poway. We made small talk with the office manager while one of the service technicians was paged. John came right out and we walked out to the vehicle. He looked at it and gave an off the cuff estimate that was even higher than my first estimate. I'm sure if he sat down and did the detail work it would have come out closer to the $2800 number, but his overall point was that it was likely not worth it for me to do it. He wanted, instead, to focus on the problem of getting the trunk functional.

After a careful examination, he told me there was no reason the trunk could not be opened. The damage was not sgnificant enough to wedge it closed. Therefore, the mechanism was the likely culprit. He got me a flashlight and a screwdriver so I could crawl into the trunk from the inside and jimmy the mechanism. I figured out how to get it to pop open with a little help from Jeff and Sal. They flipped the release repeatedly so that I could see the device attempting to act. My keen mechanical eye combined with the flashlight and screwdriver to do the rest. Clunk! The trunk popped open and in flowed sweet, cool air. Inside the trunk was rather hot given that it was around 85 degrees outside.

Once it was open, John carefully removed the carpeted lining around the mechanism and examined it while we tried to work the release. He showed me how I could take it apart with some pretty basic tools and said that the release wire either just came loose or the wire was stretched and needed to be repaired. Based on this, I was able to see (without even removing the bolts) that the release wire just came out of its groove. I put it back and and we did a little testing. Trunk victory!

John basically served as a service consultant. He diagnosed the problem and guided me through fixing it. He spent about 15 minutes with us and didn't charge me a thing! I told him if I ever needed vehicle body work again, I'd definitely head in his direction. And you should too! If you are interested, I can recommend them for their integrity and Jeff can recommend them for quality of work.

El Dorado Collison Center
12502 Poway Road
Poway, CA 92064

My story didn't exactly have a happy ending. I still have an ugly dent in the trunk and bumper. The big dent needs to be sanded out and painted over as it is already starting to rust. But John managed to make it a less miserable ending. The car still functions and was never terribly lovely to begin with. All things considered, it was about as good as I could expect.

With that taken care of, it was off to lunch!

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How Much Would You Pay?

Well, my long silence has ended. Will it last? Who knows. The desire is there, but the drive seems to fail me when it comes time to post. And speaking of the drive failing me...

Yes. Check out these lovely pictures of the rear left corner of my car. I was involved in a minor accident. Who was at fault? That depends on whether or not you think the hydrant was capable of movement. This is what happens when a hydrant is in your blind spot and there is a curb preventing you from cutting the wheel back.



Unfortunately for me, the hydrant was not a residential one, but rather an industrial one. Those are just a bit taller and have protrusions at the top and the center. The height, as you can see, is just right for denting a bumper and a corner panel at the same time. I wasn't even backing up fast. I didn't hit the accelerator at all. I just put it in gear, rolled backwards, and CRUNCH!

The dent was of sufficient size and location so as to prevent my trunk from opening without professional assistance. I called the insurance company to find out if there was any help there. They told me that if I filed a claim and the damage was over $750, I'd get 2 points added to my license and my premiums would skyrocket. So, I opted not to use the service I pay so handsomely for. Instead, I went to a body shop. Anyone care to guess what they want to fix it? This would include the bumper, the trunk, the dent, and the paint.

Ready?

$2800!

I checked the blue book value on this guy and, if it were in excellent condition (which it damn well better be after $2800 of body work) it would be worth $5700. The value if I can get the trunk open and leave it as is? $4700. Trade-in value as is? $3000. I will, of course, be getting a second opinion. I mean, that is freaking nuts. What is the insurance definition of totaled? For some, it is 51% of value. If we assume a middle ground valuation due to the fact that the car was not in "Excellent" condition before I crunched it, that gets us $5200. That means my repairs would be around 54% of the vehicle's value. I backed into a hydrant at under 5 mph and totaled my car.

How humiliating.

Stay tuned. The saga continues.

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Fun With Microwaves

I have to blog this story because of all the fun James and I used to have with Microwaves. Apparently, some researchers in Florida have determined that microwaving a sponge kills the bacteria. They proved this by soaking a sponge in waste water and microwaving it for 2 minutes. After reading the reports, people had to try for themselves. They ran into problems. Can anyone guess? That's right, they didn't WET the sponges. They microwaved dry sponges with unfortunate results. Of course, they blamed the reporting agencies. Here's my favorite quote:

First, the sponge is worthless afterwards so you have to throw it out instead of using it. And second your entire house stinks like a burning tire for several hours, even with windows/doors open,

You know, because the burning sponge isn't an indication that he's done it wrong. That was obviously part of the experiment. Yet another thing to add to the disclaimer list.

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You Call That an Improvement?

So, when I started blogging again, recently, I upgraded my Blogger account. Now my recent comments hack is broken and they want me to upgrade my template. So, it looks like I may have to dig in to the template code again and futz around. That's so much more fun than actually writing. *sigh* If you notice anything not working in your browser, let me know.

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Show of Hands

How many of you thought I was dead. Be honest. I admist, I've been gone for a while. At first, there was stuff. Then more stuff. Eventually, it was hard to pick back up again. What do you say? How do you sum up everything that kept you away from your community for six months more or less. Let's see.

Life sucked. It's better now.

That ought to do it.

I'm back and digging my way out. Don't expect a crazy mad flurry of posting. But I will try to easer my way back into regularity. Fiber and all that.

Thanks to those of you who checked on me and were concerned. Sorry I wasn't the best correspondent. I'll do better.

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It Be Talk Like a Pirate Day, ARRRRRRRRR!

My pirate name is:

Captain Sam Flint

Even though there's no legal rank on a pirate ship, everyone recognizes you're the one in charge. Like the rock flint, you're hard and sharp. But, also like flint, you're easily chipped, and sparky. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
part of the fidius.org network

For more piratey fun, check out International Talk Like a Pirate Day And if you need any help with the talking, go see Ol' Chumbucket and Cap'n Slappy. They'll help you learn the Five A's

Tags:

• Silly
• Humor
• Entertainment

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They Love Us!

Check out the reviews for Guys and Dolls! Both the North County Times and the Poway Chieftain agree that we rock. Some excerpts from the Times include:

The company's summer staging of the classic musical "Guys and Dolls" is their best yet at the outdoor venue, with a strong principal cast, smooth pacing, elaborate sets and costumes and sharp choreography.

And why not a little pat on the back for yours truly?

Scott Kolod and Brian Weissman are both strong singers and colorful personalities as the gambling duo Benny Southstreet and Nicely Nicely Johnson, and their delivery of the musical's Runyonesque dialogue is just right.

This is definitely one of the better shows I've been a part of, so it's nice to see that recognized, particularly by a normally tough critic.

The Poway paper's review is also very good, though has a minor factual inaccuracy. Frank Sinatra did not play Sky Masterson.

However, the true standout is lead actor Bob Himlin, playing Sky Masterson, a role assumed in the film version by the ever-suave Frank Sinatra. Himlin does quite admirably in shoes formerly occupied by so lofty a personage.

Still, as Bob said, nothing wrong with a comparison to Sinatra. And this reviewer can be forgiven a detail like that. After all, she thinks

...this “Guys and Dolls seems at times almost every bit as good as a professional version might be.

She, too, was a fan of Scott's and my performances:

Two standouts in this supporting cast in which everyone is notable are Brian Weissman as Nicely Nicely Johnson and Scott Kolod as Benny Southstreet.

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Boa To Be Wild

I was trying to think of a name for this post that included the boa and the slippers, but I thought "Slip Me The Boa" would get the wrong kind of search hits. The only other thing I had was "Pink Slip" and that might make people think of things I'd rather they didn't. At least not with respect to me. Anyway, I owe you all an update on my fundraising activities, especially since you all have been such big supporters...

We've reached level 2. I have the Red Sox cap and I'll be getting the Yankee cap later today. I just need to find a place I can legally burn it. Soon!

Level 3 pictures are here! Because I made you wait, I wore the slippers for two days. They may make a comeback if I make it all the way to level 8.







Level 4 pictures are up and I look fabulous in Robin's boa. I also wore this one for two days to make up for the delay.



Level 5 is reached, which is the tutu. I'm having trouble finding one, but I'll make that up to you as well. I had said I'd wear it over my normal clothes. Instead, I'll wear it with pink tights. I'm going to check my theater's costume collection this weekend.

We have level 6 as well. Since I have the pink outfit, we'll leapfrog that one while we are waiting. That'll have to be a one day affair though I may reprise it after the outfit is through the laundry. I'm wearing the outfit now and will get it photgraphed today.

Tags:

• Personal
• Silly
• Charity

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Opening night!

Well, Guys and Dolls opened last night and the opening was great! We had over 100 people there and the mistakes were minimal, forgivable, and well covered. The North County Times did a bit on us in their Preview section and the Union Tribune listed us as a Best Bet. Recognize the guy in the NC Times photo? We also had a few reviewers there last night. It will be interesting to see what they say. Of course, I'll link to all reviews as soon as they come out. Stay tuned! And if you are in the area, stop by Kit Carson park and check us out!

Tags:

• SanDiego
• Entertainment
• Personal

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Perhaps There IS Hope for Democracy

A new poll came out recently on the heels of the assorted "voting irregularities" in places like Ohio and California

Asked whether Americans have the right to view and obtain information about how elections officials count votes, 92% of respondents concurred.

Zogby International

In the poll, they asked a number of questions about voting transparency. People overwhelmingly support checks and balances on our elections process. So, how do we turn this sentiment into action? November is nearly upon us and e-voting machines are becoming more and more prevalent. Here in San Diego, you enter and electronic vote and it gets stored in the machine at the precinct. Then the precinct votes are aggregated and sent to the central tabulator. It spits out the results. No ballots. No paper trail. No verification.

The Open Voting Consortium has what I would consider a decent solution. Any thoughts as to how we make it happen?

Tags:

• SanDiego
• Politics
• Rant

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Level 1 reached!

Thanks to all your donations, I have achieved level 1 of my Breast Cancer Walk fundraising goals. I've actually made it to level 2 and am frighteningly close to level 3, but level 1 is the only one I have had time to complete. I assure you that the picture you see *is* of the back of my head and I have been parading around with it uncovered. In fact, this has resulted in four more individuals donating.

Special thanks to the folks in the finance department for helping paint my skull. Rebecca, Tara, Tanisha, Wayne, and Heather all helped, though Rebecca did the actual painting. We opted for the back of the skull as it seemed more visible.

Shortly after the painting was done, my donations jumped up a bit to $666! I was concerned that perhaps my work was the work of the devil, but then someone threw in another $5 to make it $671 and I was saved!

Tags:

• Personal
• Charity
• Silly

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It's the Law

So, Josh was recently climbing on the climbing wall in the back yard and he was trying to explain how to do it to a friend of his. "You have to hang on or you'll fall. That's cuz of grabbity."

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Think Pink!

Time for some good old-fashioned self-abuse. But not just any old self-abuse. It's self-abuse for a cause. How many times do you think I need to type self-abuse to be tops on Google for the term? Of course, that may direct the wrong kind of traffic here. Ah, who am I kidding. I'm a traffic whore.

So, what is this self-abuse, you ask? I have joined my company's team in the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walk. So, I am working on raising funds. If our team raises $15k, Cymer will match it! However, I've never been good at telling those sappy, syrupy tales to get people to give money. I'm opting instead for giving some entertainment for people's donations. This is where I need your help.

I'm creating donation levels. Every time my funds raised pass a certain level, I will do something silly or embarrassing and post pictures and or video. For example, when my total has passed $300, I am going to complete shave my head and paint a large, pink ribbon on it. I need ideas for other levels. How can I debase myself for people's amusement in order to raise money? You can check my progress here. Ready? Go!

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Is This Thing On?

Ok. So, I've been gone a while. I don't think I've transitioned from "while" to "eternity" just yet, but I'm on the cusp. Life has been a bit on the hectic side. There's too much to go into right now, and I don't want to scare myself off. I gotta ease back into it. So, I'm probably going to throw a few quick hitting updates in over the next few days and get back into a rhythm. After all, it's been weeks since I've read or wrote anything. And I'd like to re-establish myself in my net communities before I throw too much of my own stuff out there. I feel like I need to reconnect with you all first. Find out what is going on in your corners of the world. But, rest assured, I am back.

I do want to thank everyone for their condolences about Nala. That was a pretty hard thing to go through. And I still see her death replay in my mind's eye a little more often than I'd like. But we are doing much better with it. The only lingering affects are Maya thinking her room is haunted by Nala's ghost and Josh developing an obsession with exactly when everyone and everything will die.

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The Christmas Trees are Safe

I know I haven't kept up on the blogging of late. Life has been a bit on the hectic side. I mean, none of you ever really come here for timely news or commentary. I've always moved at my own pace. And you've always stuck around. I appreciate that. Occasionally, a story comes along that moves me to write it as soon as I can. To make time when I really have none. This is one of those occasions...

Today, at just a little before noon, Nala left us. I wish I could say that she went peacefully in her sleep, but neither she, nor we, were that lucky. The trouble started a couple of days ago. She was having a weird drool problem. She would chew as though there were something tough in her mouth and her mouth would twitch and there would be saliva everywhere. I thought it was just an oral irritation and tried to be more careful of what I gave her to eat. But it increased in frequency, and yesterday, during a particularly bad bout, I tried to get her to go out to the backyard as we had just cleaned the floors.

She looked at me with little awareness or acknowledgement, and when she finally did get up to go outside, she couldn't remember how to walk. She walked in a circle three times and then lost the ability to walk altogether. That's when it got scary. She starting having a seizure. She stumbled to the ground and began spasming uncontrollably. We all stood helpless watching her. As the seizure passed, I scooped her up in a blanket and whisked her off to the vet. During the drive, her breathing was labored, but she was calm. We had prepared the kids when I left that I might come back alone.

While at the vet, she slowly started to revive. When the vet saw her, she looked almost normal. She did have one of her drooling episodes while the tech was taking the case history. Based on history and examination, the vet recommended bloodwork first. By the time that was done and the results were back, Nala was walking around like herself again. Apparently, apart from the twitching and drooling, Nala was a perfectly healthy dog. The best they could come up with on the seizure was one of two things. The more easily treatable was the bacterial infection in her mouth. The vet surmised that the pain from the infection could cause her to spasm. Possibility two was a brain tumor or other neurological problem. That would be harder to diagnose. So, the plan was to put her on the antibiotics for a week to ten days and if she wasn't better, we'd go back and decide our next move. We never got the chance.

This morning, while I was out getting last minute things for our trip to Puerto Vallarta, She Who Must Be Given Sympathy called me on the cell phone. Nala was having another seizure. What was she supposed to do? I told her to administer the valium and then call the vet. I grabbed the last few items, waited in the checkout line, and rushed home. The seizure lasted twenty minutes. We couldn't get the valium in her. I just stood there and watched her slowly die. I rubbed her fur and tried to ease her passing, but I'm not sure she was there. When it was over, I covered her with a blanket and we saw to the kids.

They took it pretty hard. It's tough to say who had it worse. Nala was originally bought for She Who Must Be Given Sympathy to help her through two consecutive miscarriages. Maya pointed out that she had known Nala her whole life. They had grown up together. Just was just appalled that dogs could die. And me, well, I'm a pretty emotional sort and a dog person. We all made little tributes and put them in her box before I took her off for her final arrangements. Maya wrote her a letter and made her an origami purse full of dog food. Josh drew a picture of her. She Who Must Be Given Sympathy and I wrote her little notes on old dirty socks. It was kind of reminiscent of the send-off a Pharaoh got. And that was it.

All that is left is the grieving. And the memories. Josh wants to know if I'll miss him when he dies. Maya just wants to know why. She Who Must Be Given Sympathy blames herself for not taking care of Nala's teeth sooner. And me. I just want to get that image of her out of my head. The one where she is lying on the ground shaking herself to death.

I'd rather remember her as she is here. As the silly dog who barked when Christmas trees rode past. Or motorcycles. Or bicyclists. Or pedestrians. She felt like she was watching the flock. We'll miss you Nala. Thanks for keeping us safe these last ten years.

In eight hours I get on a plane to PV. I'll try to check in while I'm there. If not, see you on the flip side. Sorry to bring you down. If you made it this far, thanks.

Categories: Personal, Family

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Nicely Nicely, Thank You

As some of you may have picked up from that reference, this is a post about the classic musical "Guys and Dolls". That just happens to be the show the theater is doing for Plays in the Park this year. Auditions have come and gone and I am happy to say that my amateur theater career is proceeding apace. Check out the cast list and you'll see what I mean. It's the Stubby Kaye role from movie version. I get to sing some of the best sons of the show. I'm part of the trio for "Fugue for Tinhorns", part of the duet for the titular "Guys and Dolls" and get "Sit Down You're Rockin' the Boat" all to myself. I also sing backup on a few other numbers. I'm feeling pretty good about myself on this one because this was the best turnout audition-wise I've ever seen at patio and there were some really talented people that landed in ensemble roles.

Categories: SanDiego, Entertainment, Personal

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She Who Must...

For those of you who haven't followed the comment thread, my wife, the artist formerly know as L shall henceforth be know as "She who must..." and I'll finish it with whatever seems appropriate at the moment. In general, I'll fall back on "She Who Must Be Obeyed" and "She Who Must Not Be Named", but I'm sure other situations will arrive which will afford me an opportunity for cleverness. And we all know how I enjoy opportunities for cleverness. Thanks to barbie2be and B.O.B. for the winning suggestions. Anyone have any thoughts as to a suitable prize? I could make a certificate suitable for framing, but who really wants that? I mean, seriously. I must have a whole box of those somewhere. They may be suitable for framing. But just because something can be done doesn't mean you have to do it. I mean, just cuz these boots were made for walkin'...Ok, that's a bad example. But you see my point. Or you don't. Either way.

Categories: Personal, Family

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The Karma Goodbye Song

Well, the lunch has come and gone and I sang her song. She requested "Like a Virgin" with dance moves. I think she was hoping to embarrass me into not doing it. Sorry, but THAT is not the kind of thing that embarrasses me. My only regret is that I was unable to acquire those paper snowcone cups to fashion a makeshift pointy bra. Herewith are the lyrics. There are some better verses, but they crossed too far over the line and had to be left off...

She made it to the luncheon
The least that she could do
She's here under duress
We forced her to

Likes to eat stuff that's sweet
But won't touch, bagels much, it's true
Cuz she says that they're
Yeah she says that they're
Fattening for you

Her aversions! (Hey!)
Keepin her awake at night
Her aversions.
And she knows that
She is right

Gonna eat some watermelon
My victory's no fluke
Think I ate a bit too fast
There's a bush, I'll puke

Got some base on my face
Lashes long, like all women should
That's the only way
Yeah the only way
I feel I look good

Her aversions! (Hey!)
Keepin her awake at night
Her aversions.
And she knows that
She is right

Oooh, oooh, oooh

The fast food here's not good
It's so lame, yeah it's quite a shame
Just chicken and rice
Yeah chicken and rice
They all are the same

Her aversions! (Hey!)
Keepin her awake at night
Her aversions.
And she knows that
She is right

Her aversions, ooh ooh,
Her aversions
Now we'll say goodbye
So you're leavin', no more teasin', please don't be mad

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Ooh, baby
So I had to tease you
For the very last time

Categories: Karma, Humor, Enertainment

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Name My Wife

Odd title for a post, no? After all, she already has a name. But she doesn't want it to appear here on the blog. She was a victim of identity theft at one point and is now a trifle cautious about what information she lets out. So, I've been referring to her as "L" or "my wife". I grow tired of this labeling scheme. So, we need to decide what to call her in this space. Some of you know her. Others do not. So, here are some tidbits about her that she probably wouldn't be upset to find on the internet. She works in education. She greatly values reading. She's an outdoors activity sort of person. She hates being told she can't do something. So, is that enough info to come up with an approrpiate fictional name? I hope so. I'll choose my favorite from amongst the comments. Ready? Go!

Categories: Personal, Poll

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The Resemblance is Uncanny

We interrupt the utter lack of news reporting to bring you this quiz. I know, there's lots of stuff going on out here and I'm not telling you any of it. I'm just trying to work my way back into blogging. So, you're stuck with this stupid quiz that I stole from someone. Sadly, I can't remember who. So, hat tip to whoever.

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Categories: Poll

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A Moment of Silence

First. Yes, I'm back. Lots to tell you about, including all that transpired to keep me away. But, it took a pretty momentous event to jolt me back into the game, and I need to get to that first. No, I'm not talking about al-Zarqawi. That's big news, but it's pretty widely reported. I have stuff to add to that, but it can wait. This has a more direct impact on you, the reader. No, not L's broken leg. That's is 'impactful', but more of a cause of absense than an opportunity to write. We shall recover from the leg. Especially me. This is about Karma. She's leaving...

Allow me to paraphrase a quote from..er...well, I can't remember who. If you know who it was, do a mental attribution. If not, just know that I'm borrowing it. "I have mixed feelings about this? I'm torn between joy and elation." It's going to make my life tougher in the short term, but in the long term, it's a truly wonderful thing. The one downside is, what will I do for material?!? I mean, she was a font of inappropriateness. She was a source of nigh-perpetual outrage. She may have been, to this blog, what Dubya is to the Daily Show. Fortunately, I have not written all the Karma stories there are to write yet, so you will still get to experience her in all her intolerant glory. But it's not the same as having it happen virtually real time, is it? I mean, the sign wars were a chance for you, the reader, to help me mess with her.

She doesn't want a going away party or presents or anything like that, but my friend Robin and I brainstormed a little gift basket for her. What do you think?

Ivory soap
White chocolate
A Ream of white paper
A couple t-shirts (white)
A personal white board
A couple bottles of white-out
White Knights on DVD

What else should we add?

Categories: Karma

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Computer Troubles and Mother's Day

My computer at home is freezing up, so I need to get it looked at. The likey culprits are the power supply or the fans. So, I haven't been able to do much blogging from home of late. I'm just firing off a quick missive during lunch here to let you lot know that I havn't abandoned you. The computer won't get fixed before the weekend is out as we are taking L away for Mother's Day weekend. We are doing our YMCA campout this weekend instead of Thanksgiving this year. I'll try to catch you all up on the flipside. Be good to your Moms!

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Liveability Index

It's always interesting to me how there is this urge to rank and order things in our world. There are a number of surveys on which are the best places to live. Forbes Magazine has a list of the top 'smart places to live'. Number 1 is Nashville. According to a new book reported in USA today, the best is Louisville, Colorado. MSNBC reported on a book called "Cities Ranked and Rated" where they swear number one is Charlottesville, VA. Then there are the custom polls. They take existing data and try to organize it based on your personal preferences such that you get your own, individual best places list. Progressive Farmer will help you pick the best rural spot. And Find Your Spot will look anywhere in the country for you with an extensive questionairre.

Why the sudden interest? No, we aren't moving again. I'm just wondering where that mythical place is where the quality of life is high and the cost of living is low. Gas, home, and grocery prices out here have me wondering. I mean the Boston and San Diego areas both have high qualities of life, but are amongst the highest in cost of living. I'm sure there are some spots in Alabama and Mississippi that have rock bottom costs of living, but infrastructure and services aren't so good. So, where do you go to raise a family while still saving for retirement and college?

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Literary Phenomenon

Here's something I've pondered recently. I was reading the book "The Kite Runner" by Khaled Hosseini a few weeks back. I was about halfway through the book and was enjoying it immensely. However, up until that point, I was under the misconception that the book was nonfiction. I believed the characters were real people and felt for them as the conflicts of the story arose. At some point, I noticed that the main character's name was different from the author's and felt the need to do some research. That's when I found out it was fiction. The rest of the book was less satisfying to me and in certain places predictable. In others the author asked me to suspend too much of my disbelief. Yet, a few days before, he wasn't asking and I was believing. The only thing keeping me from blaming my perceptions entirely is that the part of the book where I felt compelled to check constituted a major change in the flow of the story. So, I don't know if the writing led me to question or my question led me to doubt the writing. I think it was still a good book and I would be interested in the thoughts of others reading it knowing it was fiction the whole time. Anyone else ever have an experience like this?

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How Could We Ever Replace Duke?

I have the great fortune to live in the California 50th Congressional district. That's the former home of Congressman for hire Randy "Duke" Cunningham. You remember him. He recently went to jail for taking millions of dollars and a hooker or three in bribes while steering contracts to those who paid. He ran for reelection and won easily in spite of the fact that he was under investigation for political corruption. In fact, the race was SO not close that he didn't even show up for the candidates debate. We loved us some Duke. And when I say "we", I mean the North County population at large...

I have to admit, I was surprised to discover how conservative the area of California I moved to is. I mean, Duke wasn't just a Republican Representative, he was a lockstep Bush Republican. He parroted talking points and sold whatever the President wanted. And people loved him. And this fall we will replace him. But who with?

Well, we had a special election a few weeks ago to see who would replace Duke. The way it works out here is that if nobody gets 50%, the top two have a run-off. And this run-off is just to finish Duke's term, which ends in December. They'd have to basically start running again before doing anything so as to be ready for the November election. Thanks, Duke. Well, nobody got 50%. Francine Busby, the Democrat, got 44%. The next closest competitors were Republicans Brian Bilbray (15.4%) and Eric Roach (14.6 %). This decisive victory makes her only a slight underdog in the general election.

What? You heard right. Registration out here is 50% Republican, 32% Democrat, and 18% everything else. So, Busby is running a close second to Bilbray. This is especially infuriating because Bilbray is a former Congressman turned lobbyist. He has ties to Abramoff and Delay. When in Congress he voted against regulating ephedra based supplements such as Metabolife in spite of the evidence directly linking Metabolife to deaths. Oh, did I mention that he received tens of thousands of dollars from Metabolife? So, we are replacing Duke with a younger version of himself. Way to clean house North County.

The RNC is getting involved as well. I get a mailing a week from the RNC telling me about Francine's vices. Allegedly, she laid off teachers while giving bureaucrats pay raises and praised a teacher fired for possessing child pornography. She's a member of the school board and they are Swift Boating her. The ads come across as though she is anti-education and supports pedophiles. Meanwhile, a lobbyist is seen as a good choice for cleaning house. Great.

I will be campaigning for Francine and hoping she can pull it out. I will put a Democrat sign on my lawn in Republican central and debunk all the nonsense they throw my way. Wish me luck.
Categories: Politics, Rant

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Holy Crap The Man is Scum!

Sorry. I realize I may have lost my cool there, but the Criminal-in-Chief has managed to shock me. I found this tidbit on a site praising Steven Colbert for his roast of all things establishment at the press corps dinner. It seems that Dubya doesn't feel that following the law has anything to do with enforcing it. That's why I say he is a criminal. Apparently, the reason he has not vetoed anything in his tenure is he doesn't want Congress to have the ability to weigh in on the issues. So, instead, he appends "signing statements" to the newly signed laws after everyone has left. These statements tell the rest of the government how to follow the law. The provisions for how usually entail which parts can be ignored because the President feels they are Unconstitutional or because he feels they infringe on his rights as Commander-in-Chief. Funny. I thought it was the Court's job to decide questions of Constitutionality and Congress' jobs to write and re-write the laws. Here's an example. Congress has twice declared it illegal for the government to divert money from approved projects to secret torture camps. Bush has signed it twice. Both times he added that he was not bound by the law as C-i-C. Anyway still think we aren't slipping toward a fascist state?

Categories: Politics, Rant

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Karma on the Protests

I don't know if it affected where you live or not, but here in Southern California, yesterday was a huge Hispanic protest day. The Hispanic community across the country was staging a work and consumerism boycott to show how big an impact they have on the economy. I think it's a very positive and effective way to influence the debate in Washington. So, I went in to work yesterday not knowing what to expect. I suppose I should have known. It was 9:50 and our boss had not yet arrived for a scheduled 10 am meeting. Karma was concerned...

I suggested she call him. "He never answers when I call." Maybe he waits for the message when he is in his car and calls the important ones back right away? "He never calls me back." Oooops. Well, he's probably just stuck in traffic. He lives pretty far south. "There shouldn't BE any traffic. THEY all stayed home today." And there it is. I shouldn't have been surprised given her history, but this one still caught me off guard. She followed it up, in front of the department manager no less, with this gem. "Today is the perfect day to go to Wal-Mart." Why? "Well, THEY aren't working or shopping so the place will be empty." How she did not get sent to HR on the spot is beyond me. But she wasn't done. As we walked to her cube so she could give me the phone number so I could call, a member of the janitorial staff walked by. She happened to be Hispanic. A member of the cleaning staff passed in the opposite direction. Same ethnicity. As we walked on she said "What are they doing here?"

Clearly, she has a bug up her butt about the current immigration debate. A few weeks back, she cornered a janitor and demanded to know if he had his green card. Because, you know, his life is all sunshine and roses. I mean, he gets to work from 5 p.m. to 2 a.m. emptying her trash and cleaning our messes for slightly better than minimum wage. I'm glad she straightened him out.

She also recently vented to a coworker of Mexican descent that these protests were on her nerves and she was tired of seeing the Mexican flag being waved everywhere. He offered her a deal. Because, you know, one Hispanic has the power to speak for them all. "We'll agree to stop with the Mexican flag as soon as the people down South get rid of the Confederate Flag."

Categories: Karma, Politics, SocialCommentary

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The Wisdom of Youth

I cut my finger this evening while doing some handyman stuff in the kitchen. Josh was assisting me a little too closely, so I delegated the task of getting a band-aid to him. He agreed only if he could take my flashlight with him as the bathroom was dark. That seemed fair. I handed him the flashlight and off he went. A few seconds later there was a thump and a crash. "Oh, shoot!" This was not followed by any screaming or crying, so I decide to wait and see what happened next. Nothing. Odd. "You all right, Josh?" I called. "I'm a little wet," he answered in a pitiful whine. "How did you get wet?" "Well, I standed on the stool to get a band-aid..." "Um, Josh? There is no stool in the bathroom." "I know. Sadly, I standed on the potty and I fell in."

Categories: Kids, Humor

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What's the Opposite of Recognition?

I'm honestly not sure what single word could be the antonym of recognition, as in "voice recognition". Why am I fixated on such an important issue when there are bigger and better things to post about? Because I wanted to rant about my cell phone and it's voice recognition feature and I can't do the rant properly without this information. I even went to dictionary.com and used the thesaurus feature. No luck. There are antonyms for recognition, but not in this context. And as we all know, context is king. Or something. Do I make up a word? Let's break it down. "Re" is a prefix typically meaning "again" and the root word "cognition" evokes "thinking". So, re-cognition would literally be to think again. Did anyone else just have a Michael Keaton "Night Shift" moment? I'm so off track here. Let's just go with discognition and an apology from the fine folks at BriWise for an inadequate rant...

Wouldn't it be funny if you clicked and the whole rant was "my voice recognition doesn't"? And that was it? All that buildup for nothing? You'd feel cheated, and we don't want that.

So, in case you hadn't heard, my cell phone has a voice recognition feature. This is not the kind where you record the name and it matches when you say it that way ever after. This phone matches what you say phonetically to the names in your phone book. It's good for hands free car dialing. Or it would be if it worked better. Oh, it works great if I want to call Bob...er...Kidd, assuming I knew a Bob Kidd. But trying getting it to recognize Arnold Schwarzenegger. (What? Like I couldn't call the Governator?) So, I have to learn how to say things so the phone will understand. Great. Instead of me training the phone, the phone is training me. This is better how? So, now I have to say names in odd ways. Typically in public. The entry "Bube & Zade" in my phone has to be pronounced "Boob Zehyd". It isn't smart enough to translate the ampersand as 'and'.

All this is annoying, but still manageable as it is a form of recognition. What vexes me is the command recognition. There are only a handful of commands, so it shouldn't be hard. Of course, many things shouldn't be, but are. The most common command is "Name Dial". It even displays that command on the phone screen as soon as you press the command button. And yet, when I say "Name Dial", no matter how slowly or clearly, it says "Calling." Who is it calling? Why the last person I called of course. It thought I said "Redial". It thinks this consistently. Even if I insert a two-to-three second pause between name and dial, it will still redial. And of course, there is no command for "disconnect" or "hang up". So, I have to grab the phone and press and hold a hard-to-press button on the outside phone before it makes the connection. Occasionally, I miss and hang up on someone just as they are saying hello. Then they call back and I have to explain that I am incapable of operating my phone. All of this defeats the point of going hands free.

And yet, fool that I am, I keep pressing the button and saying "Name Dial". Often, I say it like those cliched people trying to communicate with someone who doesn't speak English. If I say name dial loudly and slowly enough, surely my phone will understand. One day, I had to punch in a number for a conference call. It was not in my phone, so it had no associated name. I needed to make the call from my car, though. So, clever person that I am, I dialed manually and hung up. Then I could just tell the phone to redial when I was ready. I pressed the button and announced "Redial". I'm sure I detected a smirk in the mechanized voice as it said "Say the Name".

Categories: Rant, Humor

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Aaron and the Eggs

Over at Aces Full, James was recounting a story about an old prat of a coworker and this tool's idea of a clever joke. I reflected on how the situation would have been handled had he and I been working together at that place. After all, in the past when he and I worked together, we were generally merciless with the arrogant. The whole exchange reminded me of the summer that he, Bull, and I were working at McDonald's together...

One of our fellow crew mates was a fifteen year old named Aaron. He felt cool because he was one of the first fifteens to be allowed to work a regular job under the revised child labor laws. And he got to work at McDonald's. It was a pretty playful environment and we all spent lots of time ragging on each other. He wasn't quite as good at it as we were, particularly when we tag teamed. After one particularly harsh exchange, he vowed revenge. Playful teenage revenge, but revenge nonetheless. Aaron concocted a couple of clever jokes to play on us. He tied my jacket in knots and dropped a rotten tomato in James' hat. Like I said. Clever.

We decided we had to show him what clever truly was. A couple of weeks before, we had played a little egg prank on one of our weekend breakfast shift buddies. We had carefully drained the egg out of a whole tray of eggs. We didn't waste it. We scrambled it and set it aside in the walk-in. Then we carefully put all the eggs back with the open side down and watched the fun as our foil tried to fill the requested order for a dozen McMuffins. There are around sixty-four eggs per tray. James had also taken to writing messages like "Help!" and "Let me out!" on uncracked eggs. So, we were in an egg frame of mind.

Our egg draining technique was well honed by this point. So, we made short work of twenty or so eggs and hid them where Aaron would not notice them. We left all but two empty. Then we waited. Aaron went on break at a fairly slow part of the morning. James was on biscuit detail and I was supposed to be setting things up so we were ready to switch to lunch at change over. Both of us had legitimate reasons to be in the stock room. We might even have had legitimate reasons to be in the door of the break room. But we didn't. We stepped into the door eggs held high and spares cradled in our aprons. Aaron saw us. We paused for effect. "Yeah. Like you guys are gonna throw eggs at me. Psssh." That was our cue. We let fly and he ducked down trying to get under the built-into-the-floor McDonald's table. He got pelted with empty eggs and gradually began to realize he had been had. He sat up. "Ha ha," he said. And stood up to show he was no longer afraid. By this time we had unloaded all but two of our eggs. He stuck out his chest to make a better target. After all, what was the big deal about being hit with empty eggs. We grinned back at him. I let mine go. He barely had enough time to register the shock of being hit with a water filled egg when James' hit him and he disappeared in a cloud of biscuit flour. Biscuit flour and water makes a nasty mess on ones apron. We beat a hasty retreat laughing all the way.

The best part was that the manager on duty thought it was funny. He just asked that we take some time when the rush died down to clean up the egg shells, flour, and water. Ok, that wasn't the best part. The look on Aaron's face as he realized we'd set him up was the best part. Not getting in trouble was a nice bonus.

Categories: Humor, Stories

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Recent Comments Broken

By the way, I noticed this evening that my recent comments feature is busted. It looks like my digest feed went away. I'm looking into it and will get it repaired as soon as I can.

Categories: Blogging

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Maya's Back On Stage

She had an audition for Charlie and the Chocolate factory last Wednesday and made callbacks. They wanted her to read for Veruca, Violet, and Mike Teavee. She was given three monologues to practice and told she would have to perform those as well as do some cold readings. We worked on different interpretations for each character until bedtime and then she kept working when she got home from school the next day. Some of the older girls were a bit shocked that she got called back and told her so openly. She handled it with great aplomb. She ignored them and went to talk to some people who were nice to her. I have to say, I enjoyed all three of her monologues and she got some good applause after each. Still, there were a lot of kids there and we told her not to get her hopes up. She tried psyching herself up for an Oompa Loompa part. We checked for the cast list Friday. Not there. Saturday. Not there. Sunday? Argh! We looked at the calendar and saw that it was scheduled to be posted on Tuesday. We looked today anyway. Here is what we found. In case you don't want to follow the link, she's Mike Teavee!

Categories: Kids, Hobbies, Entertainment

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People Suck - II

I'm feeling surly about life still. Ok, not really. But I am up in arms about some stuff. Where's the common sense in this world gone? Where's the customer service? I recently attended a time management class to improve...well...my time management. We are hoping it helps me be more focused and productive at work. One of the things that came out of the class was that I need a planner, as opposed to a PDA. It's interesting that the time management trainer concluded this. He said I was a personality type who would get a Palm, fill it with addresses and data, and then never use it. I'd say he is dead on since that has already happened. But I digress. I needed to get a pen and paper style planner. So, I went to Office Despot knowing full well that finding a 2006 planner was going to be tough, it being April and all. My plan was to find one of the handful of leftover planners they had that was now 1/3 useless and get it at a deep discount. I wanted to make sure it worked for me before I invested in a more serious system...

Luck was with me. I searched for close to half an hour, but found a plain, black, 2006 calendar that had all the features I wanted. It didn't have a price on it, though, and wasn't in the discount aisle. So, I brought it up to the checkout to find out what the damage would be. The woman behind the register was working another task, but stopped to attend to me. The exchange went something like this

Me: Can you please tell me how much this is?
Her: *Boop* Thirteen ninety-nine.
Me: (incredulously) It's not marked down? It's a 2006 planner.
Her: (like I'm a moron) It *is* 2006.
Me: Yes, but we're partway into the year. A third of this planner is useless.
Her: I'm sorry, but that is the price.
Me: There are some planners that run from August '06 to August '07 that are similarly priced. Why would anyone pay the same price for something that is obsolete?
Her: Well, I can't mark it down.

I shook my head and started to walk away. She was a manager. If she didn't have the authority, who did? I was just thinking to myself what a stupid store Office Despot was when she returned to her previously abandoned task. She had a price gun with ornage labels in it and was tagging merchandise. And what did the orange tag mean?

Her: Oh, I'm marking this stuff down.

But no, my disgust was not yet complete. What items was she marking down? 2006 planners.

Categories: Rant, ConsumerRights

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What Time Out Is For

We were in the car driving the other night and I teasingly commented "There are some people in this car who don't understand the meaning of a time out." I was referring to and incident the previous day where my wife and I had a bit of a disagreement and I gave myself a time out to calm down. The trouble was that the door to my time out seemed to be a revolving door, so it was hard for me to move past it. Anyway, I was teasing my wife about it when Maya chimed in. "I know the meaning of a time out." I think she thought I was teasing her. I decided to play along. "You do? Please. Share it with the rest of us." She smiled. "A time out is when you have to go to your room so you don't turn into Dick Cheney." I have no idea where it came from either. Mom decided to press her. "And who is Dick Cheney?" "Well. He's the President's...um..what's the word? He's like the assistant President."

So, go to your room when you are sent or you may turn into a surly assistant President. Wonder what political leanings her parents have.

Categories: Kids, Humor, Politics

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People Suck - I

I finally got around to trying to find a geo-cache. My good friend Chuck had sent a Travel Bug called Petey Cruiser out west to me to see if it could make it all the way across the U.S. on the backs of assorted cachers. For a while it looked grim. Petey puttered around in New England. Howewver, he made it to Jersey and from there jetted his way across the states all the way to Cali. In November, he landed at a spot a mere 20 miles from my house in a park that we have been known to frequent. However, our theater lives were quite busy through March of this year. Finally, we had time to look. I checked the cache to make sure he was still there. I found this message waiting for me in the log:

Update, 1/28/06: I had to mark 4 or 5 Travel Bugs "As Missing" as they were not in the cache. I do not recommend leaving travel bugs here. Either someone is stealing them or cachers are not logging them out. If a TB shows up here, I will remove it and place somewhere safe. End transmission.

So, some dickweed has made off with Chuck's TB. Chuck, I'm sorry I didn't get there to pick it up sooner. Unfortunately, some people just suck.

Categories: Hobbies, Rant

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Pushing the Envelope

So, we had to come up with a new rule in our house. Josh is only allowed to stuff his "letters" in envelopes that we get in the mail. You know, the postage paid kind that come in credit card offers and such? He can also have the unpaid ones with the address or the little window that come with offers for things you have no interest in buying. He may not use the ones stored in the cupboard under the printer. This rule was not made hastily. At first, we thought it was cute that he wanted to put every note he wrote to us or to his sister. "Der Dad, I luv you. Frum Josh" That wasn't a sample note. That was every note. Cute. For the first few days. However, we began to get alarmed about the volume of envelopes he was writing. We had a box of five hundred. Note I say "had". We implemented the rule in time to save the last ten.

Categories: Humor, Personal

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Guess what this is a picture of

This picture was taken last month and right here in Escondido. Some of you may recognize my back yard. What you may not be used to seeing there is the fine white coating of hail! We actually had a two day on-and-off hail storm. I was out during a portion of it and those suckers sting. Here we see Josh holding a container of hail. He was quite excited about it.



I guess the weather here can occasionally be as odd as it is back east. And when the weather here goes wacky, nobody knows what to do about it.

Categories: Personal, SanDiego

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Back. With a Vengeance.

So, Thursday was a particularly unpleasant day for me and left me in a foul mood by the time my commute home had arrived. There were just two little things that were at the root of my foul mood. My mp3 player and my wife's. Both were bought Thanksgiving weekend. Both had 90 day warranties. Both broke at the 120 day mark...

We both have Rios. She has the 256 MB Rio sport, perfect for jogging. I have the 6 MB Carbon Pearl, which is more of a jukebox system. L's Rio has two current flaws. Neither render it non-operational, but both decrease its capability. The battery cover fell off while she was jogging. The bigger problem is the volume control. The decrease button has stopped working. She can increase the volume all the way up, but she can't make it softer. A power-cycle can reset it to the default volume, but that's it. Mine has a slightly more serious problem. The volume wheel popped out of the casing. This wheel also serves navigation functions. Had I just accepted that this was the natural way of things, I might have been fine, but I decided that I could get some help from the store, manufacturer, or credit card company. Oh, the folly of man.

I started with Rio support. I had to call for Out of Warranty "assistance". This consisted of the support person asking me all kinds of irrelevant questions while I tried to interject what the problem was. In the end, she couldn't answer my question. She could only have me navigate to the repair service web page. She could tell me every single link upon which I was supposed to click, but she could not tell me what was contained therein. Perhaps she thought I would despise her less if I found the bitter truth myself. I paid $250 for the two combined. If I wanted Rio to fix them for me, it was going to cost $170 plus shipping! To add insult to injury, a refurbished 256 MB Sport was selling on the site for $39! She asked me if I wanted her to create a case for the Rio Sport as well. I willed my voice to glare at her through the phone. "Is there anything else you need?" I told her that there was, but I think I had gotten all I was going to get. She laughed and agreed with me!!! So, to sum up part 1, Rio sucks and so do their audio players!

I decided to check with Sears and see if they offered any kind of customer service that might alleviate my pain. I went to their website and found a menu item called "Worry Free Shopping". That's what I needed. I had shopped. Apparently it had been worry free. Time to cash in on that worry protection. I had options, too. I could choose from "No Hassle Returns", "We Service What We Sell", or "Satisfaction Guaranteed or Your Money Back". Interestingly, drilling down to the details shows the latter two to be exactly the same thing. And there is no hassle. You just have to return it within 30 days and pay a 15% restocking fee. So, what they mean is "No Hassle for THEM". I don't know about you, but I consider having to pay a fee to return an item that broke a little too quickly under normal wear to be a hassle. I decided to try the service option. After all, how much could it be to have them open the cover and put the wheel back on? (I had already tried unsuccessfully to open it myself. Not like I was going to void the warranty.) So, I called 1-800-4-MY-HOME for electronics help, like they said.

I navigated an annoying voice activated maze of menus, growling displeasure with each new answer. After I answered a dozen or so questions, I was given clearance to wait on hold for the next available representative. I was reminded once every thirty seconds or so how much they appreciated my patience. They appreciated it enough to continually cut into their own commercials to tell me so. Their appreciation was like a steady drip slowly eroding what little patience remained. Finally, when they no longer appreciated me, they let me talk to someone. He cheerfully told me that I wanted a different number for electronics. He cheerfully gave it to me. He cheerfully asked if there was anything else he could do to help me. This raises an interesting question. Which is more annoying, being thanked for patience you don't have or being offered more help from someone who has failed to help you. I stewed as I dialed the other number.

This phone maze was more straightforward. I had two options, warranty or out of warranty. Out of warranty immediately took me to a message informing me that the cost of Sears' "worry free" repair service was a minimum of $159 plus parts. I can see why they weren't worrying. Given the fact that I could buy a new one for that price and a refurbished for less and given the fact that they wanted me to have my credit card ready before they would even find out what was wrong helped me make the easy decision to stream profanity into the phone as I hung it up. To sum up part 2, Sears sucks and so does their "Worry Free" shopping experience!

Two strikes down, I turned to my last option. I'd check with Mastercard to understand how their buyer protection plan might protect me, the buyer. I did an extensive search of their web site and even logged in to my account in the hopes of finding some answers. No luck. I'd have to call another support person. I navigated through another minefield of voice prompts and was reminded often of all the answers I could find on their web site. I entered my card number to "enable us to serve you more quickly". Finally, I was connected to a person or person-like simulacrum. "Can I have your card number again, sir? It's not showing up on my screen." Blah. "Thanks! And your name?" Blah. "And your zip code?" Blah! "And your mother's maiden name?" BLAH! "Ok. I think I have enough information. And how are you today?" Not all that great, to be honest with you. "That's great. Let me just pull up your account here." Lovely. It's great that I'm miserable. This is going to go well. I can tell already. "Now, what can I help you with?" I explain to her that I am just trying to find out about the purchase protection that my card is always touting. "Hmmmmm. I'm not sure, but I think I can find out." Could you? Oh wonderful! "Let's see. It says here that you can have anything that is lost or stolen replaced within 90 days of the purchase date." And if it is outside of the 90 days I'm SOL? Because I purchased two mp3 players 120 days ago and they are both broken. "Was it more than 90 days from the purchase date?" Ummmmm, yeah. "Then the plan won't cover it." Lovely. "Anything else I can help you with today?" Grrrrrrr. "Thank you for calling MBNA. We appreciate your business!" More like you appreciate giving me the business.

So, quick quiz. How many things out there might you purchase that cost enough that you might care about a warranty and yet do not have a warranty of at least 90 days? I couldn't come up with any either. This 'benefit' seems about as useful as a receipt for a donut. So, to sum up part 3, MBNA sucks!

Categories: Rant, ConsumerRights

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True.

Ladies, you need not read further. This one's for the boys. Last night, Josh made a proclamation that, taken at its purest interpretation, resonates in most of us men. As he chased his sister's friend around the house, planting kisses on her, he shouted, "I'm a girl lover! I'm a girl lover!" We hear you Josh. And we're with you.

Categories: Humor, Personal

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