So, as you may have noticed in the last post, I have finally caught up to last year's cutting edge blog trend, category tags. I'm going to use them going forward and they'll appear at the end of the post under the clever heading "Categories". I'm also going to retrofit my older posts a little at a time. That way, when you need a dose of Karma, there's an easy link to collect all her exploits. In fact, I'll probably tackle those first! If you have category suggestions, fire away.
Categories: Blogging
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Tag! You're it.
Monday, January 30, 2006
Why Jews Hate Christmas
So, my friend Kerri had something amusing happen to her recently and we chatted about it over IM. It does relate to the subject line, really. But we don't hate Christmas, really. We'd just be justified if we did. Go read Kerri's tale and then come back here and tell me how amused you are. And how much you crave jello cheese.
Categories: Humor, Judaism
Friday, January 27, 2006
Wine Snobs Rejoice!
I know there are a few of you out there. You know how to taste wine and describe it in all the right terms. You have tasting parties and rate different varietals. You know when to have a Riesling and when to have a Chardonnay. You probably even think the bumper sticker "Life is a Cabernet" is funny. (Actually, I think that one is pretty funny myself.) Well, it's time to take it to the next level. Enter Crush Pad. They are a professional winery that lets individuals and groups come in and make their own wine in their facilities. This is a very high end operation. There are 30 wine making decisions you have control over during the process, but don't fret. You have access to a professional winemaker for consultation. Some of the questions you'll be answering are: What varietal do you want to make? Do you want to keep the free run juice separate from the press wine? Do you want to allow, encourage or block the malolactic fermentation? When all is said and done, you'll have 25 cases of wine with your own custom designed label. It'll run you between $13 and $23 a bottle, or about four to six grand. That's a pretty high price to pay to have Pat say "This tastes like ass!", but it might just be worth it.
Categories: Hobbies, Do-it-yourself
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Market Analysis Mumbo Jumbo
I really wish I understood the stock market better. It seems like the country is run by the market. Possibly even the world. We use it to justify all sorts of decisions. "We can't tax businesses because the market is down" or "We have to allow lenders to make loans that are almost certain to ruin people so because the market is down". And we have analysts who are supposed to keep close tabs on companies and make recommendations as to whether or not you should buy a stock. About two weeks ago, a report came out saying that analyst Stifel Nicolaus had downgraded a stock I'm interested in. Before the comment, the stock was at 40.19. After the announcement, there was no news out of the company or a week. The price crept down to 38.21. Since that day, news has come out of good performance in both the company and the sector. It's trading right now at 45 and they haven't even announced the fourth quarter numbers yet. So, I guess what I'm saying is WTF? In the absence of news, analysts influence the markets directly based on their secret formulas, but if this one was wrong, how many others were wrong? And people are making financial decisions based on this? Spaghetti-monster help us all.
Categories: Rant, SocialCommentary
Friday, January 20, 2006
ENoB Number 9. Number 9. Number 9.
You say you want a revolution? Well, you know. Today's weighty philosophical discussion comes from...me! Well, nobody had any suggestions, so I had to dredge my brain and come up with something to keep this regular feature alive. It's so hard to stay out of those minefields known as religion and politics in a feature like this. I mean, I could go the sports prediction route. You know, make a couple of football statistical predictions and then ask the magical ENoB. With that, you get to have a right and wrong. But who wants black and white? My world has infinite shades of gray. Let's go with entertainment this week. We've all heard the flap about "Brokeback Mountain". Hollywood is trying to turn us all gay. The outrage will probably only boost ticket sales. But I want you to answer to these statements. "I would like to see the movie." "I think the people protesting the movie need to get a life." Either, Neither, or Both. As always, I'll wait until we have a few responses before I weigh in. Wouldn't want to bias the poll with my overwhelming force of personality. ;-)
Categories: SocialCommentary, Poll
Thursday, January 19, 2006
The First BriWise Song Challenge?
Ok. I was thinking that, after the response to Deeply Irresponsible that I ought to have a contest here. But what should the prize be? If we are going to have a contest here at BriWise, there ought to be a decent prize. Is public adulation enough? Maybe the prize is that I will record and release the song onto the net. What do you think?
Categories: Contest, Poll
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Pandora Rocks!
Ok, this is review for most of you, but one or two of my readers don't read ULev or Aces Full. I know, it's hard to believe. But given that it is true, and given how cool Pandora is, I had to post about it myself. I'm not going to go into the same level of detail as Chuck does. Not when a link does just as nicely. The short form is that you enter an artist or a song and Pandora looks in its database for the song. Based on what it sees, it finds songs with similar characteristics. You can set a channel up with one or more artists or songs. As the station plays, you tell it which songs you like and which you don't. It analyzes the attributes of each and evolves to give you more of what you want and less of what you don't. It's not perfect. It doesn't have classical, latin, or world music. But what it does have, it does pretty well.
Categories: Entertainment, Website
Colorado Photos
So, my brother-in-law Daniel is much better at putting timely content on his blog than I am at putting timely content on mine. Many's the time I've posted about a picture I'm going to send or a story I'm going to write. You often don't see it for six months. Well, you are in luck. In spite of the fact that he took ten times as many photos as I did and maybe more, he has posted the photos from the family Colorado trip. There is some overlap, so you can look at his pictures and we can all pretend I was prompt. Follow this link to see the family oriented photographs. The link under each picture opens to a thumbnail gallery. Daniel is an excellent photographer. When you are done looking at those pictures, I encourage you to look at his urban wanderings photos. You're welcome.
Categories: Personal, Photos
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Thanks, Maya
So, we were sitting in the office Sunday night playing a game with the kids. The game is Gulo Gulo, by the way. Not important to the story, but a good game to play with kids and adults. Anyway, Josh was talking about his friend Jalen's birthday party which is coming up this weekend. There was no way we were going to have time to shop, so we hit upon the idea of giving Jalen one of Joshua's Hanukkah present duplicates. We hadn't returned them and we bought him a personal DVD player instead. He had forgotten about the gifts and the DVD more than made up for the returns, so, those were sort of in the gift pool. I said to Josh, "How about if we get Jalen a Spiderman lego set like the one you have?" Josh thought about it for a second and said "Wa-hoooooo!" He was in a bit of a hyper mood. And then Maya chimed in "You mean like the present of Josh's we returned?" I glared and shushed her. Somehow, she felt she hadn't quite been helpful enough yet. "Ohhhhhhh. You mean we haven't returned it yet." Thanks, Maya.
Categories: Personal, Kids
Friday, January 13, 2006
Hi, Fox News? I'm an idiot. Can I have a job?
Ok. I was walking out of the cafeteria here at work. They installed TVs so we can have FOX News piped in all day. I know. Yay. What would you guess they were running? The tragedy in Mecca? Sharon not coming out of his coma? The Alito hearings? Heck, even the emperor's reconstruction trip to New Orleans? Nope. They title on the bottom of the screen? "Kong V$ Gay Cowboys". That's right, the incredibly newsworthy issue of a movie about homosexuals doing well. Apparently, they are trying to say that Kong got unfair reviews and is not getting the buzz of Brokeback because of the secret homosexual agenda. I didn't stay for very long. Just long enough to watch the liberal fodder pointing out that the conservative expert was not using facts to defend his point. *sigh*
Categories: Rant, Politics
Fall Seven Times, ENoB Eight
This is getting to be a challenge. Feel free to private mail me with topics for this in the future. I'm a software engineer, which makes me lazy by nature, but I like the idea of a regular feature and want to keep it going. I hink I want to get away from religion for a bit. It's too controversial. Let's talk politics, instead! Samuel Alito is on his way to the Supreme Court unless something really shocking happens. There's a lot of posturing going on this week, but ever since Bork, nominees pretty much say little to sink themselves if they make it to the hearings. We've shifted from a burden of the nominee proving suitable to the Senate proving the nominee unsuitable. And in these days of blind party loyalty on both sides, it is increasingly less likely that either side is going to betray their own. So, what kind of ground rules should there be for a confirmation that is sure to have great impact on the lives of majority and minority alike? Should a nominee be required to answer specifics items about their background? Should hypotheticals be allowed in order to better understand a nominee's philosophy? Either. Neither. Or both?
Categories: Poll, Politics
Thursday, January 12, 2006
A Little More Hanukkah
At James' advice, I am forcing myself to leave the angst behind and see what happens. So, all of the holiday blogging has put a preponderance of Hanukkah and other Jewish words on my web page. This has had the effect of having all manner of Judaica being marketed in my Google Ads. I click on them from time to time to see what kind of stuff they have and today, I found one I am actually going to buy! The LeeVees are an indie band made up of Jewish members of a couple other indie bands. They have recorded an album of Hanukkah songs! This is not your average novelty album. While I love Adam Sandler's "Hanukkah Song", it is not particularly musical. The LeeVees are musicians first and comedians second. So, the gags aren't as overt, but the songs are better. They ask the musical question that Chuck over at ULev has lamented in "How Do You Spell Channukkahh". There's also an amusing comparison between celebratory styles called "My Goyim Friends". In all, there are four songs you can listen to on their site. They kind of remind me of Barenaked Ladies. I heartily recommend them.
Read More......Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Back in the Saddle
Ok. I've returned from vacation. I've caught up on work mail. I've caught up on personal mail. I've read through all the blog posts I missed whilst away. I've commented on many of them such that my friends cannot possibly miss the fact that I am in town. I've mostly caught up on work. So, why the hell haven't I blogged? It's a curious question and no doubt has many answers. I have plenty to say. How many of you have ever known me to be at a loss for words? Perhaps I have too much to say and can't decide where to start. That's undoubtedly true, but why should it be so hard to resume regardless. I've had too much to say before and managed to post. Some things fell by the wayside because they lost their relevance due to inaction, but still. I've posted. I think as I've typed this, I've hit upon the reason. Fear. Fear of what, you may ask? Well, this isn't exactly an anonymous forum for me. And some of the things I want most to blog about, to enlist the aid of my community on, probably shouldn't be on a public web page. Were I in a more joking mood, I suppose I might quip on the problems of celebrity. Sorry to return so melancholy, but there it is. When life gives you lemons, post an angst ridden cryptic message to your blog.
Read More......Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Lucky ENoB 7
I think it's time to lighten up the ENoB discussion for a bit. Let's talk Christmas. ;-) Everyone celebrates it in one fashion or another. The religious go to church and rejoice in the birth of their savior. The secular spend time with family and celebrate their blessings. The pagans have Yule. The Jews get together and go out for Chinese food. Fact is, the country more or less closes down and so people take time out from their normal grind, even if it is just for a couple of days. So, which is your preferred method of observance? Do you like to stay local and enjoy friends and immediate family? Do you like to travel and see those distant from you? And by travel, I mean spend at least one night sleeping away from home. Or do you prefer a combination? Split your celebration time between remote and local? Either, neither, or both?
Read More......Monday, December 19, 2005
The Most Famous Reindeer of All
So, we picked Josh up at school on Friday. He had some paper reindeer antlers on his head and his nose had some bright red face paint on it. "Who are you supposed to be?" I asked him, even though I knew the answer. He stuck his chin out proudly and told me. "I'm Redolph the rude nosed reindeer!"
Read More......Friday, December 16, 2005
The Difference Between Christmas and Hanukkah
Disclaimer: This is not meant to be serious. I realize there are real and substantive differences between the two holidays and faiths. I also realize some people are sensitive about this sort of thing. If you are offended, I apologize. If you are mock-offended, I mock-apologize.
1. Christmas is one day, same day every year, December 25. Jews also love December 25th. It's another paid day off work. We go to movies and out for Chinese food and Israeli dancing.
Chanukah is 8 days. It starts the evening of the 24th of Kislev, whenever that falls. No one is ever sure. Jews never know until a non-Jewish friend asks when Chanukah starts, forcing us to consult the calendar so we don't look like idiots. We all have the same calendar, provided free with a donation from the World Jewish Congress, the kosher butcher, the local Sinai Memorial Chapel (especially in Florida) or other Jewish funeral home.
2. Christmas is a major holiday. It's easily in the top 5 in Christianity.
Chanukah is a minor holiday that probably wouldn't crack the top ten. It has the same theme as most Jewish holidays. They tried to kill us, we survived, let's eat.
3. Christians get wonderful presents such as jewelry, perfume, stereos.
Jews get practical presents such as underwear, socks, or the collected works of the Rambam, which looks impressive on the bookshelf.
4. There is only one way to spell Christmas.
No one can decide how to spell Chanukah, Chanukkah, Chanukka, Channukah, Hanukah, Hannukah, etc.
5. Christmas is a time of great pressure for husbands and boyfriends. Their partners expect special gifts.
Jewish men are relieved of that burden. No one expects a diamond ring on Chanukah.
6. Christmas brings enormous electric bills.
Candles are used for Chanukah. Not only are we spared enormous electric bills, but we get to feel good about not contributing to the energy crisis.
7. Christmas carols are beautiful...Silent Night, O Come All Ye Faithful.
Chanukah songs are about dreidels made from clay or having a party and dancing the hora. Of course, we are secretly pleased that many of the beautiful carols were composed and written by our tribal brethren. And don't Barbara Streisand and Neil Diamond sing them beautifully?
8. A home preparing for Christmas smells wonderful. The sweet smell of cookies and cakes baking. Happy people are gathered around in festive moods.
A home preparing for Chanukah smells of oil, potatoes, and onions. The home, as always, is full of loud people all talking at once.
9. Christian women have fun baking Christmas cookies.
Jewish women burn their eyes and cut their hands grating potatoes and onions for latkas on Chanukah. Another reminder of our suffering through the ages.
10. The players in the Christmas story have easy to pronounce names such as Mary, Joseph, and Jesus.
The players in the Chanukah story are Antiochus, Judah Maccabee, and Matta whatever. No one can spell it or pronounce it. On the plus side, we can tell our friends anything and they believe we are wonderfully versed in our history.
11. Many Christians believe in the virgin birth.
Jews think, "Yossela, Bubela, snap out of it. Your woman is pregnant, you didn't sleep with her, and now you want to blame G-d? Here's the number of my shrink".
12. In recent years, Christmas has become more and more commercialized.
The same holds true for Chanukah, even though it is a minor holiday. It makes sense. How could we market a major holiday such as Yom Kippur? Forget about celebrating. Think observing. Come to synagogue, starve yourself for 27 hours, become one with your dehydrated soul, beat your chest, confess your sins, a guaranteed good time for you and your family. Tickets a mere $200 per person.
Better stick with Chanukah!
Thursday, December 15, 2005
The Injustice Department
Courtesy of the Washington Post comes this story about more of the administration's political appointees at work. Apparently, they have been stripping dissent out of voting rights issues that have come before the DoJ. States with a history of discrimination have to get voting rights legislation precleared before they can even vote on it. The DoJ is supposed to look at it and determine if minorities would be disenfranchised. Under the DoJ's watchful eye, the
Texas redistricting was allowed to move forward, as was a Georgia law requiring voters to show driver's licenses to be allowed to vote. These were sharply criticized by many DoJ employees who investigated them. Their dissent was stripped out of the final report, and the appointees OKed them. Fortunately, the courts have declared the Georgia one unconstitutional. Let's hope the judiciary committee takes up the Texas redistricting.
Back To The Front
I have returned from the wedding in Florida and caught up on work, e-mail, and blog reading. It was unseasonably cold and the wedding was outdoors, but a ood time was had by all! I'll write it up at some nebulous unspecified date. Which means you'll never see it. ;-) Now I can resume my personal War on Christmas. Sorry. I know I need to let it go. It's just become so pervasive. I'm tired of being told that I have some secret agenda to stomp out Jesus. Well, in another month, it'll all be over. Then we'll need a new reason why the Christian majority is being marginalized. Until then, Merry Christmas!
Read More......Friday, December 09, 2005
ENoB VI - Six neithers laying
Well, I'm off for the weekend and may or may not have any posts until Tuesday. I'm going to Orlando for my good friend Allen's (Rabbi Moyshe) wedding. No, he's not really a rabbi, but we have been know in years past as "The Rappin' Rabbis", so it fits. Feel free to keep the comment threads going and I'll weigh in when I can.
In the meantime, here is this week's ENoB... It's inspired by a somewhat scary bumper decal that I saw on my way in to work this morning. It had the silhouette of a cross and the words "Pray. Obey. And Trust." surrounding it. I searched the web for an image to no avail. It didn't scare me because of the cross. I have no problem with people displaying their faith or beliefs. There's nothing wrong with being proud of who you are. This is different however. By putting this on their car, they are hoping you will read it and somehow be transformed to their way of thinking. And this particular sentiment is creepy. Pray to God, obey those with authority over you, and trust unquestioningly. It's mindless sloganeering and more of the whole dissent is treason pap.
Now, it's not scary to me because I think it will convince someone. I don't. As a good friend once said, "You can't convince anyone from the back of your bumper." If you see it and agree, you'll likely honk in support or at least have a warm feeling inside. If you disagree, it'll make you mad or disgusted or somesuch. It's just another easy way for the puppeteers to foment division and polarization.
So, the question this week (which is not as well formed as I'd like it to be) is: Bumper stickers and window decals; Divisive? Entertaining? Either. Neither. Or Both.
Thursday, December 08, 2005
More Toilet Humor
Quite literally this time. I did a major bathroom cleaning over the weekend. Josh's accuracy still leaves a bit to be desired so I find I have to clean more often. I decided to make things a little easier on myself and got one of those in-the-tank cleansing tablets. I plopped them in the tank right before we went out and forgot about it.
When we got home I heard a shout from the bathroom. Maya came running out. "What happened to the toilet?" she asked. She ran to the other bathroom and flushed. "What happened to our toilets!" She was a little panicked. "What do you mean?" I asked her, having forgotten my cleaning activities. "The water," she began, "is all blue!" I barely managed to keep a straight face. "It wasn't." I lied. "What did you do to it?" She was frantic. "I didn't do anything, Daddy!" Her mother likewise kept up the ruse. "Oh my goodness! It wasn't like that when we left."
Maya looked from one to the other of us with real concern on her face. The toilets were blue. "Wait a minute," she said. She walked over to the sink and slowly turned the handle, peering very closely at the spout. Clear water came out. "Whew!" she said. I couldn't hold it any more and laughed. "What's so funny?" I motioned her over to the toilet and took the lid off the tank. "I put that blue tablet in earlier. It helps keep it clean."
Subscribe to:
Comment Feed (RSS)
